I have left baby Ibbo for 2 hours with my parents and 2 hours with my Husbands parents, NEVER have I left baby Ibbo for a FULL DAY AND NIGHT!
I never suffered from anxiety before, only when I new I have to park (I'm not very confident when it comes to parking the car) though I don't think id even call that anxiety? Just nerves I never had bad thoughts or shakes or panics before.
After having baby Ibbo the thought of leaving him wasn't worth thinking about, after much thought and talking to my husband I can openly say I do suffer with separation anxiety. I am embarrassed to admit that as I worry what people will say, will they judge me? Everyone says ' He will be all right ' ' Don't worry its only a night ' I know its only a night, I know he will be OK! That doesn't stop my feelings, my thoughts, my secret tears in the shower. It sounds so silly, dramatic almost. Yet its how I felt. I hate feeling like a crazy lady, but I honestly was having little panics. My Husband is amazing and would talk to me, and he really did help me.
So the day came, I had all the bags packed, what we took it looked like baby Ibbo was going to be moving in with my parents there's so much to take! My advice is pack it the night before, that's what I did and it was a massive time saver! We dropped him off set everything up, his cot, monitor etc ran through his routine and then we were off, as was few minutes behind schedule. I hated it if I'm honest, I left like id left my leg or arm behind I felt so lost and empty! But you know what I did it. Leaving him was the hardest part. We got to the venue and there was so much going on it took my mind off things. The wedding was beautiful, the meal was stunning and before we knew it, it was 5oclock and we was checking into our hotel room to wait for the evening party to start. My mum bless her was sending me updates all through the day with pictures and videos, and it looked like baby Ibbo was having a lovely time with his Nana and Grandad and didn't seem bothered I wasn't there. Which I'm not sure if that helped or made things worse as it showed he didn't need me! Jokes aside I could see he was happy and that did make me feel a lot better. When I new he was asleep at 7pm I felt I could relax a little more.
Spending time with my Husband just the two of us, talking, laughing, having a few drinks, dragging him on the dance floor, it did us the world of good. It was such a special day watching my friend get married. Above all I over came my anxiety! I was able to put it in the back of my mind, my Husband was there when I started to have a 'flap' as I call it. We had some quality time together that we haven't had in 7 months maybe longer as I wasn't very mobile towards the end of pregnancy. Baby Ibbo had a lovely day with his Grandparents. Everything was OK.
Sometimes its the thoughts that put you off from doing things, I fall victim to this 100% Now I know with a little help I can over come them and kick my anxiety in the backside!
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