Separation Anxiety

This first weekend in March 2019 I attended a friends wedding. This meant NO BABY!

I have left baby Ibbo for 2 hours with my parents and 2 hours with my Husbands parents, NEVER have I left baby Ibbo for a FULL DAY AND NIGHT!

I never suffered from anxiety before, only when I new I have to park (I'm not very confident when it comes to parking the car) though I don't think id even call that anxiety? Just nerves I never had bad thoughts or shakes or panics before.

After having baby Ibbo the thought of leaving him wasn't worth thinking about, after much thought and talking to my husband I can openly say I do suffer with separation anxiety. I am embarrassed to admit that as I worry what people will say, will they judge me? Everyone says ' He will be all right ' ' Don't worry its only a night ' I know its only a night, I know he will be OK! That doesn't stop my feelings, my thoughts, my secret tears in the shower. It sounds so silly, dramatic almost. Yet its how I felt. I hate feeling like a crazy lady, but I honestly was having little panics. My Husband is amazing and would talk to me, and he really did help me.

So the day came, I had all the bags packed, what we took it looked like baby Ibbo was going to be moving in with my parents there's so much to take! My advice is pack it the night before, that's what I did and it was a massive time saver! We dropped him off set everything up, his cot, monitor etc ran through his routine and then we were off, as was few minutes behind schedule. I hated it if I'm honest, I left like id left my leg or arm behind I felt so lost and empty! But you know what I did it. Leaving him was the hardest part. We got to the venue and there was so much going on it took my mind off things. The wedding was beautiful, the meal was stunning and before we knew it, it was 5oclock and we was checking into our hotel room to wait for the evening party to start. My mum bless her was sending me updates all through the day with pictures and videos, and it looked like baby Ibbo was having a lovely time with his Nana and Grandad and didn't seem bothered I wasn't there. Which I'm not sure if that helped or made things worse as it showed he didn't need me! Jokes aside I could see he was happy and that did make me feel a lot better. When I new he was asleep at 7pm I felt I could relax a little more.

Spending time with my Husband just the two of us, talking, laughing, having a few drinks, dragging him on the dance floor, it did us the world of good. It was such a special day watching my friend get married. Above all I over came my anxiety! I was able to put it in the back of my mind, my Husband was there when I started to have a 'flap' as I call it. We had some quality time together that we haven't had in 7 months maybe longer as I wasn't very mobile towards the end of pregnancy. Baby Ibbo had a lovely day with his Grandparents. Everything was OK.

Sometimes its the thoughts that put you off from doing things, I fall victim to this 100% Now I know with a little help I can over come them and kick my anxiety in the backside!

Having some you time.

  
It may be an obvious one but its very important too. 

Its very easy to wear yourself out and run on 2% battery life. I know I have been there. Being very tired and anything seems to set you off, then the arguments start and the tears come, its a massive roller coaster of emotions! What I have found has worked for me is a little pamper. I used to love pampering myself: Face masks, facials, manicures, lotions and potions. Being a beautician by triad I loved anything like that. After having baby Ibbo I didn't do any of it, I didn't have (make) the time. Around 4 or 5 months I was starting to find myself running on 2% battery struggling and finding myself on that emotional roller coaster. I lost myself a little bit, I was to busy looking after baby and not looking after myself. I wasn't wearing make-up, I was letting my hair go greasy and just scrapping it back, I wasn't spending any time for ME. 

I spoke to my husband told him how I was feeling, I was running myself down trying to do everything, Mother, Wife, House Keeper. Like my husband said 'You cant do it all' hearing those words really took the pressure off, and now I make sure I have some ME time! I don't feel bad about it, I enjoy it and its really made the world of difference and I feel like me again.

        pamper

        Dictionary result for pamper

       /ˈpampə/

       verb

       gerund or present participle: pampering

         indulge with every attention, comfort, and kindness; spoil.

         "famous people just love being pampered"

Baby Ibbo goes to sleep at 7pm so I pick what night I fancy my pamper night and I hang up my 'Mum Apron'. I run myself a bath, use a Lush bath bomb which is a very special treat for me or my bubble bath of choice and have a soak. I spend time with me, I look after me. I give myself a facial, use a face mask, what ever takes my fancy, some times I do one of these or sometimes all of them! If baby starts to cry my husband takes over lets me have 'my time' I recharge, relax and do something I enjoyed and did before baby came along. I understand there maybe someone reading this who doesn't have an other half and you still need some you time so maybe invite a close friend or family member round let them be there if baby needs anything so you can have your time, or if your child is at nursery age or school have your time then. 

Its OK to ask for help, its OK to love yourself, its OK to hang up your mum apron for an hour.

Snap back? What's that!

"Beautiful just the way we are"   

Picture taken from Pintrest

This is something id like to address - there is so much pressure on new mums to "snap back" to our pre pregnancy figure. Id like to ask Why? Why is it such a big deal to "snap back" ?!

Iv seen it on TV and in the magazines, Celebrities are having their babies and in 4 weeks time they are back to their pre pregnancy bodies. Not very realistic! Then again I cant afford a personal chef to cook all my meals, or a nanny to do the night feeds so I can sleep so I feel and look fresh.  I don't know about you but 4 weeks after having my baby I still felt as if id been hit by a bus, I was still sore, and felt as rough as a badgers arse! Id only just given up my sexy stockings, and my hips were still really bad as I suffered from pelvic girdle pain, so there was no way you was getting me into the gym!

" When are you going on a diet to loose your baby weight? "

I was never one of these girls who weighed themselves on a weekly basis and when I was pregnant I was fully aware my body was going to change. Getting on the scales of course its going to say I'm heavier I'm carrying another human inside me! As for eating for two, id eat pretty much a healthy diet baring the odd... OK a few chocolates! As for weight gain I didn't really change, my legs and arms stayed the same it was pretty much my tummy getting bigger. 

After baby was born my tummy still looked like I was 5 months pregnant and that's 'normal' it had been stretching for over 9 months! 6 months on id say its pretty much gone back to how it was its just a little more 'plump' and 'bouncy' then it was before. It will probably be another 6 months for it to change again but that's ok. I am proud of my Mummy Tummy it is where my baby grew. Where I held my baby while he slept, ate, stretched, developed! It is the place I felt him for over 9 months and I'm in no rush to "snap back" My body will probably never look the same and I'm happy with that.

At the moment I'm happy, I'm enjoying mother hood and to me that's all that matters. Don't get yourself down by what you see and what other people are saying, as long as your happy and healthy that's all that matters! If I want chocolate ill have it, if I want cake ill eat it! Mummies are tired as we are up all night so we need energy to function in the day, if the only way I can get my energy is from the sugar in that cake ill do it! And ill do it for all the mums out there! That's what I tell myself anyway.. 
My body is what it is now. I'm a mum my body has created life. I am powerful!

My TOP 10 Baby Products

Here are my top 10 baby products I have found useful on a daily basis. With this being my first child don't get me wrong I'm still a novice and always learning, but these things id honestly be lost with out them so I thought id share them with you.
All the photos are from the websites as they look new and pretty, were as me taking them in my house used and probably covered in baby drool wouldn't look as appealing? I have also added links to them too if your interested, you will notice a Amazon theme I'm a bit of an Amazon addict! 

Tommee Tippee Electric Steriliser (Black)

When I was looking for a steriliser I didn't want anything big or bulky as were not blessed with a lot of space, and not only that I didn't want our kitchen to be full of 'baby stuff' Originally I was looking at microwave sterilisers as I thought when I wasn't using it I could hide it away. This Tommee Tippee one its very compact it has two shelves, the top shelf can come off and go on the bottom if you wanted to steriliser bigger things such as bowls plates etc which I have done and works really well. Also you can use any bottles for e.g. I use Avent bottles 9oz size and there is plenty of room. I don't even notice it in my kitchen.

Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep Machine (Black)

We was bought this as a gift from our Brother and Sister in-law they loved theirs and wanted to get us one. It comes in so many different colours we went with black as all our kitchen appliances are black. It fits any bottle too as the bottle stand moves up or down to fit any size bottle not just Tommee Tippee. I LOVE IT! Set it to what size oz your baby is drinking put the powdered milk into the bottle push a button it squirts a blast of hot water in first, I give it a shake to melt the powder, push the button again and it pours cooler water in to the correct measurement and BOOM your bottle is ready at the perfect temperature for your baby! Brilliant for night time feeds when your feeling like a sleep deprived zombie its simple to use. Id be lost without one now. HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMEND!  

 Rucomfy Luxury Cuddle Soft Baby Bean Bag

A bean bag for babies you say! Again id never heard or seen these before! My mum bought one for her house as our baby is the first grandchild so my parents didn't have anything for when baby Ibbo came to visit. She came down with this bean bag and I was like what on earth! a bean bag for babies what next! Well its the softest thing you have ever felt, it moulds to baby and supports them also you can shape it so they can sit up. We loved it so much we ordered one as soon as we got home. They come in so many different colours, patterns, pictures we was shocked at what choice they had! We went for the Grey with stars in the photograph as the Grey matches our living room. Baby Ibbo has used it from being a few weeks old and when he out grew the Moses basket, he is now 6 months and still uses it for little naps even now, we have used it so much, great for if your visiting family who don't have children so don't have anywhere to put a baby. 

Philips AVENT Anti-Colic CLASSIC Range

I know its a very personal thing to choose to bottle feed or breast feed your baby. My choice was to bottle feed. I never had the urge to breast feed, I always said once baby was born I will see how I feel. If I want to breast feed I will, if I don't I have the bottles at the ready! Philip Avent bottles are my weapon of choice! I did a lot of research and again I think bottles are a personal choice, I liked the sound of these ones and the anti colic concept. Although my baby did suffer with trapped wind we found it was the milk rather then the bottles as he guzzled. We had to change to comfort milk which is slightly thicker then your normal powdered milk. Once we did that there was no problems at all. You can hear the air coming out as they drink. Very easy to clean, I got on really well with them from the start, baby Ibbo took to the teats very easily didn't have any problems.

BT Video Baby Monitor 6000

 

 

I'll admit I wanted an old school monitor, just a simple walkie talkie style. It was my husband who wanted an all singing all dancing monitor. I was very nervous about having a screen as I heard they can be hacked and that put me off the idea. After a lot of research we found out that as long as its NOT a smart monitor that DOESN'T connect to the internet its safe. The BT 6000 that we have is very simple to use which I like, you plug in the camera, plug in the monitor and that's it! Ready to use! The monitor is in colour and also has night vision, you can talk to your baby through the monitor and also move the camera from it too! If your baby is a wriggler. It does so much even plays music to your baby, I was very impressed. The sound and video are really good quality! and above all its safe.

Infant Slumber Buddy - Frankie The Frog

 

Okay this is one we CAN NOT go without! My sister in-law gave us hers as her baby has out grown hers. This frog has lots of different lullabies although baby Ibbo loves the first song that plays, it also plays a heart beat and 3 choice of light colours (Red, Green, Blue) We use the blue light. The stars are bright enough to light the room in a nice calming way, without being to much. The song you choose plays for half an hour and so does the lights, long enough to help your baby drift off to sleep. Its funny because we found ourselves putting it on to help us go to sleep even though our baby is sleeping!

Lamaze Flip Flap Dragon

I am a stickler for educational toys! After looking around the interweb I came across the product LAMAZE they specialize in the developmental stages for baby and works with baby's skills. I was really impressed so I bought this little dragon thinking if my baby doesn't take to it 'its just a Dragon' WELL! He bloody loves it! The wings flap if you pull the handle, also he (The Dragon) can clip to your pram, car seat its great! Iv found the handle is abit stiff so I just slot the straps of my pram through it. He HAS to come everywhere with us, Mr Dragon is a MUST in our day to day lives.

 

Circus Friends Deluxe Bouncer

 

Our bouncer of choice is this cute animal print. I liked it mainly because of the Elephant, when I was pregnant I was drawn to them so much that everything I bought almost always had Elephants on them. This has a vibrate function and a bar with toys on, I just wanted something simple for our bouncer, I know you can get posh ones that do all sorts but we just wanted your basic bouncer, he still uses it now has really enjoyed using this again would recommend doesn't take up to much space sits nicely in a corner when not in use too, which we like.

 

 

Pampers Premium Protection

 

 

Our nappy of choice is Pampers Premium! Now call me a snob but iv not tried anything else, I have stayed loyal with my nappies. The premium range are so soft and work really well, iv had no leaks baby's bum isn't red or irritated. I really enjoy the pictures they have put on them. All in all I'm very pleased and therefore stuck with them. I really recommend pampers nappies. The only down fall I have is the further up in size you go as your baby grows the less nappies you get in the pack, so you start off with 72 for e.g. in this photo but now iv gone up in size my baby is now in size 6 you now only get 30+ yet the price is the same! That I'm NOT happy with. Pampers if your reading this, you need to put the same amount of nappies in each pack no matter what size they are... Food for thought?

Pampers Aqua Pure Water Wipes

Baby Wipes! You name it iv tried it! For some reason I couldn't find wipes I could get on with or loved. When baby was first born I only used water wipes I refused to use anything else however they are a lot of money so I tried to find a good alternative. Johnsons extra sensitive are near to water wipes as I can find, and I really enjoy using them, they are great for bum, body and face. However, baby Ibbo comes out in red blotches on his face after I use them, after half an hour its gone, but that's not the point. When I was sent a free sample of the new Pamper aqua Pure in the post I thought id try them and he is fine, no red marks! They are now an added addition to my wipe stash. Lovely wipes work just as they say and are very gentle on baby's skin.

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About Me

This is my story. 

My first post and where to start? I have recently become a mum! And how lucky I feel to even be able to say that. Not only am I a new mummy i'm also a wife, to my amazing Husband who works really hard for our little family. 

Iv made this Blog because after having baby Ibbo, iv found myself not going out much, becoming a little like a hermit crab curled up in its shell or a mamma wolf in her den keeping her cub from harms way. I do find myself feeling lonely at times for Adult conversation - This could be because I'm finding I have some anxiety when I'm out, I'm putting it down to how I feel as I'm sure I'm suffering with separation anxiety maybe because after baby Ibbo was born I had to be taken away into Theatre to get fixed up but thats a whole other story to tell.

This blog is for Mummies and Daddies to come and talk share their stories, tips and maybe some online bargains as like me I am sure you enjoy a good online shop! I have a new post in mind, of the top 10 products I use or have come across that has been a life safer for both me and Daddy Ibbo! As being first time parents we are still learning every day! 

Thank you for stopping by and reading my FIRST EVER POST! 

Hopefully see you on my next post 

Mummy Ibbo x